CONSTANTLY BLACK AND BLUE

You know forever alone? I’m forever drunk ;)

Time, time, have I lost my mind?

So I just got out of one of the hugest arguments I’ve gotten in with, with my mom. Half-way into the argument she grabbed my neck with her hands and started choking me (Bart Simpson-style I might add lol), just to let you know of the intensity of the argument.

I asked her what I wasn’t doing as a person and she said that I was being disrespectful and that I have no consideration for other people. I explained to her that what ever someone gives me, I’m going to give back. So for example if someone is speaking with me with a sour tone then I return that through some way, shape, or form. It’s not that I even would like to, it’s because I’m Only Human. I have emotions too, if I can hear your tone rising, your anger reaching it’s peak and your anxiety level going off the charts then being as I would be is the only way I would know how to act. I do not try to ostracize anyone at anytime, if I am silent then it’s because I feel that every thing is fine where to where I do not even feel the desire to utter a word. That is why I am “quiet” and have such a nonchalant attitude. 

The argument/conversation was such an eye-opener for me because if my own family doesn’t perceive me in a positive light then what about my friends and acquaintances. In turn, I’ve caused myself emotional distress because I didn’t know who I was as a person enough to own up to it and express it to others. I have so many thoughts and worries and ambitions that sometimes I’m not even in the “now” which could in turn render me as being uncomfortable or seemingly awkward lol. 

So with that being said I’m starting school at the end of this month and am planning on getting another job, preferably in the morning so that I could adjourn to other things in the afternoon. I’m going to take a break from these “social networking” sites so that I’m able to have a more complete concept of myself as an artist. If anyone wishes or so to contact me I have the same phone number and am sitting my ass at home most of the time, on this computer, sewing, listening to music, and or a combination the those mentioned.

Peace,

breh